Christy Lyn Winfrey
Bed & Bath Accessories

Problem: Help with product description

• Show the discount on the product page. Everyone loves a bargain
• Add a headline, bigger font to the rest of the copy
• Paragraphs are too big on mobile view
• Make sure the biggest EMOTION is hit in the headline
• Can create a sub-headline with any ‘overflow’ benefits or emotions.
• Get friends to leave a review and weave one into the description but put it in a box with a photo so it doesn’t get lost in the description.
• Add bullet points to break up the text
• Show the discounts for all 4 options in the description.
• When listing a bundle with multiple products, make sure the first one you list is the one you want them to buy most.
• Add CTA (call to action copy at the bottom, plus a sticky button app so there’s always a “Add to Cart” button in sight

Chris Satterwhite
Fitness supplements & apparel in Military niche

Supplements
• Could do better with the headline – Hit the main emotion
• Add a sub-headline
• Good use of ‘junking’ it up with bold and underline
• Good use of spacing
• Some sentences are too long and need to be broken up
• Add review in the description
• Add proof to back up your statements
• Add some PUNCH words and everyday language to make it feel real and not just fancy words that get ignored.
• Use ‘stacking’ technique to add massive proof, but combining the years of experience or results
• Delete superfluous text (that doesn’t add an value) as it just wastes space
• Add sticky button so they can ‘add to cart’ no matter how far they scroll down
• Add call to action text at the bottom

Apparel
• Trying to be too clever with the headline and it didn’t make sense
• Use copy that calls out to your audience and identify your brand so they think you are just like them
• Delete superfluous text (that doesn’t add an value) as it just wastes space
• Good use of humour, but it was down the bottom
• Move the humour section at the top
• Add reviews
• [Later idea] Can even make funny reviews from celebrities with a slightly different name
• Add a call to action at the bottom. Tell them to take action and remind them of the guarantee
• Add sticky button so they can ‘add to cart’ no matter how far they scroll down

@Sarah MacDonald
Kids Play Equipment

Problem: Feedback on Buy-or-die email

• Good example of story telling
• Can crop images to make it shorter (less scrolling)
• Can add space between the bullet points
• Good example of adding proof under a statement
• Discount coupon code was at the bottom of email with no link. To get more sales, include the coupon code (and link) up early in the email
• This email is #4 out of 10 emails and has the best open rate apart from email #1. There’s an opportunity to move it up to #2 and make the CTA (call to action) higher at the top to get more sales
• It’s also the same email as the Post-Purchase email, so I suggested to change the content a bit (so they don’t get the same email twice) and look at using the BGS post-purchase emails which was shared in the August 2018 GSD